Noble Silence & Fireworks
06 Jul 2008 ~ Categories: blog • mind • wellness
While fireworks were blasting and parties were underway over the 4th of July weekend, I took a vow of silence on retreat at Spirit Rock in the hills of Marin County.
It was remarkable to get quiet and go inward to meet my mental demons and angels. It was especially remarkable for me to do so on a weekend when I knew my loved ones and friends were celebrating and spending time together. I knew this Independence Day would be a worthy challenge for me.
Rules for the weekend: no eye contact with other retreat goers, no talking except in a meeting with a teacher, only vegetarian meals, no harming of any animals, even insects, during the stay.
Our schedule: wake up at 6:00 AM, sitting meditation at 6:30 AM, eating meditation over breakfast at 7:00 AM, 7:45 AM sitting meditation, 8:30 AM walking mediation and so on until 9:30 PM.
I had a beautiful albeit challenging experience of silence and focus with smatterings of elation and joy mixed in with wanting to run for the hills, doing mental back flips and dealing with achy hips.
In the spirit of the celebration weekend and to connect to those outside of the retreat center, I spent a full hour in meditation doing Metta (loving kindness) practice. I was sending our IO community of staff and clients, as well as my family and friends, wishes for success, happiness, peace, safety and freedom from suffering. It felt fitting to offer up my own mental ‘fireworks’ of loving kindness.
On Sunday morning after a day and a half of silent meditation, something noteworthy happened. During one of my seated meditations, I was overcome by a wave of sadness that was quickly met by abundant compassion. Then, two tears welled up in my closed-eyes and rolled down my cheeks. The emotion passed like a wave and I felt extremely open and spacious. It was a testament to the power of letting go and of the openness and inner peace that meditation practice fosters.
I highly recommend trying a silent retreat sometime. I’m not sure it’s something you feel extremely ‘ready’ for since it’s challenging. But, as our teacher Eugene Cash reminded us this weekend, we meditate because it is the kind of suffering that leads to LESS suffering instead of the kind that leads to more suffering.
Happy Independence Day.
May all beings be free,
Amy